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The current year signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” hit the mainstream. Initially, the idea that someone could suddenly stop communication with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the height of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an commonly pointless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Zoomers, a generation who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive glossary to the terms gen Z is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – For Zoomers, dating’s ideal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your partner’s response is interested or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to choosing someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do low-cost dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who choose against parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks signaling a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits confirm your choice to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial turnoffs that immediately shut down any sense of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {