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I have been close companions for more than 20 years, who has overcome several challenges, her resilience is commendable. But, she's often caught off guard by people. Her partner walked away, which came as a massive blow. A lot of her social circle drifted away during that time, because they seemed focused solely on the spouse. She was stunned by her. She put in increased attention toward our bond, likely realised better the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, many of her friends have disappeared leaving her knowing the cause. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she was very skilled at her work, her exit happened not understanding what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, both of us retired and are seeing frequent meetups, yet I realize my position in our friendship feels one-sided. I start topics of conversation only for her to redirect conversation onto what interests her. Politically, she has unyielding views. I attempt to propose double-checking information and alternate views.

She's been arranging a holiday to a country I know well repeatedly and resided in for some time. My intention was to share personal experiences, yet it was not welcomed. She essentially only wanted validation of her plans. I've just ended 30 days in that country she hopes to meet, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate to act as a friend that walks away without a word, yet I doubt she'll truly comprehend the consequences of how she acts on my self-esteem. Right now, I am in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

You could walk away, but it is not often the easy answer that we desire. However, addressing it aiming for working things out takes courage and willingness for each of you.

Experts suggest using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step is to state what typically happens in your conversations. It should be based on facts and basically an unbiased account. Step two is to express the way it leaves you feeling. This allows for no disagreement here. What you feel are your feelings, naturally. The third step is to ask how the two of you will alter the pattern between you."

Keep in mind your friend holds perspectives, so you need to remain ready to listen to her. One effective method involves stating your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to remain silent for half an hour."

It's wildly impactful in fostering mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

This person might reject your concerns, for those who hold onto a “survival narrative”: they maintain a story about themselves they cannot release since their identity is tied to it being the only thing familiar to them. This is difficult as there is no thoroughfare with these people, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could start out defensively before reflecting about what you've said. And even if you never reach a resolution, it will give you satisfaction from having been truthful.